Chop Wood Carry Water

So yesterday morning I woke up late. I woke up late because I am human and I am a work in progress. And I was compelled to hurry and to hustle and I needed my daughter to do the same. But 7-year-olds - much like Mommys’ who accidentally ignore their alarm clocks- don’t really care too much for hustling at 8am when they are tired, when the sun can feel like it’s own kind of alarm before the coffee in your brain has had it’s chance to wake up your… everything.

So I understand and still I need her to move. And at some point I need to tell her that we might miss her science camp picture this morning because I woke up later than I meant to and I am sorry. And because I guess she is very comfortable with me and maybe the universe knows I can handle it she signs, “It’s your fault. And when I get my certificate with the group picture I won’t be in the picture.” “Yes, that’s true”, I respond. “You might not be in that picture and I am sorry and do you think those are nice words to say to mommy and again I am sorry.” And she walks away because there is really nothing else to say at that moment. And then a few minutes later I quickly make my bed and she takes the other side of the comforter - across from me and lifts it up and helps me. We don’t need to communicate all that much about this but I sign, “Thank you Sarah.” And in a very subtle way she astounds me with her kindness and with her resiliency even though a few minutes ago she was clearly upset with me. And when we get to camp  - even though we are 20 minutes late - the picture hasn’t occurred yet and she has not missed it.”

And there are words moving through my brain that my friend said to me yesterday afternoon, sitting at my kitchen table over nuts and avocado. “You aren’t done yet”. Can we wait to get into relationships with people or stay in relationships with people until we are done? Done growing, becoming, whatever it is that is bigger than me wishes for me to become. And there is also this… the notes my 7 year old took when she came home from science camp yesterday, thoughts about what she learned during her first day. And again I am astounded and grateful and cannot believe all that she is and continues to become on a daily basis.